Ben Franklin: "Hear reason, or she'll make you feel her."
William Congreve: "Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury than a woman scorned."
Carl Jung: "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
Phil: "Love is a charitable assertion of magnanimous selfishness, synergistically speaking, especially when perpetrated with a smile. Apparently quite effective for propagating the species! And why not? Life is such a lovely, delicate biochemical expression of dynamic dimensional equilibrium at this magnification of the ununified field, with such an innate genetic appetite for molecular self-replication, who wouldn't think her quarks are astonishing? Simply electric! The universe has a personality!"
Anonymous 1: "No it doesn't!"
Anonymous 2: "Yes it does!"
R. Buckminster Fuller: "Love is metaphysical gravity."
Robert Teller: Spontaneous Combustion.
Robert Oppenheimer: Fusion!
Shirley Jones: "There were birds in the sky, but I never saw them winging, no I never saw them at all, till there was you."
Timothy Leary: "What's she on?"
Richard Avedon: "Picture yourself in a pink submarine in the river of Spacetime."
Roy Rodgers and Dale Evans: "Happy trails to you, until we meet again."
Albert Einstein: "Gravitational lensing!"
Fred Astaire: "He loves and she loves."
Eric Schmidt: "Give me a minute."
Phil: "Would you like that in an electron volt credit?"
Professor Donald Johansson: "Australopithecus afarensis"
Richard Leakey: "I, too, am convinced that our ancestors came from Africa."
Eldridge Cleaver: "Black is Beautiful"
Professor Harold Hill: "Ya got trouble, Right here in River city! With a capital "T" And that rhymes with "P" And that stands for Pool."
L. Hubbard: "Criminally insane paranoid? Would you like to see my etchings?"
Church Lady: "Could it be.....Satan!"
Ron Howard: "Gary, Indiana!"
Khrushchev: "We will bury you."
Anonymous FBI agent: "Yeah, I can understand your feeling the need to kidnap your own daughter. It was a nasty set of divorces! Polygamy. Losing custody and all. Hard to erase those memories?"
Lt Colombo: "Oh, Just one more thing. Why did you take her to Cuba? KGB? Fidel? Casinos? DesiLu? George Raft? Monroe Doctrine? Friends of yours?"
Anonymous FBI agent: "The locked cage in the jungle, that's not as easy to understand. Not exactly a place to keep you daughter if you had gotten custody."
Nicholas Cage: "Did you see 'National Treasure?'"
George Clooney: "Gary Coleman."
Lt Colombo: "Were you paranoid that somebody might kidnap her?"
Beach Boys: "Off the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokomo."
Ed Koch: "He is a crook, but I like him.... Most politicians still like De Sapio. He always gets the most applause when he is introduced at Democratic dinners."
Richard Nixon: "Well, I'm not a crook!"
Thomas Jefferson: "The object of your mission is to explore the Missouri river; & such principal stream of it, as by its course & communication with the waters of the Pacific Ocean, may offer the most direct & practicable water communication across this continent, for the purpose of commerce."
Dr Carl Sagan: “We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."
Phil: "My thoughts exactly. We are The Physics of Music, The Universal Laws of Nature, The Cosmic Consciousness of the Multiverse waking up to give itself a breast exam, galactically speaking, of course."
Neil deGrasse Tyson: "After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
Galileo: “The Sun, with all the planets revolving around it, and depending on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as though it had nothing else in the Universe to do.”
Edwin Hubble: "I can see clearly now!"
Ben Franklin: "The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."
Phil: "One may wish to ascribe a greater purpose to Life."
Sam: "Protons must have their quarks. That no one can deny."
Charles Darwin: "I have called this principle, by which each slight variation, if useful, is preserved, by the term of Natural Selection."
Walter Kornbluth: "She's a fish!"
Beach Boys: "Help me Rhonda, get her out of my heart."
Phil: "Happiness starts with a smile."
Dalai Lama: "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
Thomas Jefferson (with Ben Franklin editing): “We hold these truths to be self evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”
Gloria Steinem: "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."
Carrie Nation: "Men are nicotine-soaked, beer-besmirched, whiskey-greased, red-eyed devils."
Teddy Roosevelt: "Speak softly, but carry a big stick."
Al Capone: "Speak easy, but carry a baseball bat."
Helen Reddy: "I am woman, hear me roar."
Tony the tiger: "They're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"
Tiger Woods: "Could you just maybe delete my name from your cell phone. That would be huge."
Phil: "...and ends without one."
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