Topic: A Self Evident Truth

Phil:  "I refuse to be labeled an atheist, agnostic or true believer, for these appellatives offend my intelligence and deep appreciation of the logic of mathematics, the accumulated body of knowledge derived by scientific exploration, and the universe as we know it today.  For lack of a better word, I am an existentialist, epistemologically speaking. All things considered, what's the alternative? Oxymorons?  What part of know don't you get?"

Arthur C.  Clarke:  "I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical."

Phil:  "I know all things exist and that is always true. Beyond that I can only believe."

Groucho:  "Hello I must be going."

Phil:  "I know I am!  What do you think?"

Rene Descartes:  "I think therefore I am."

B. Leach: "What are you thinking?  Don't even think it!"

(TTW)

Irving Berlin:  "Now, if you're blue, And you don't know where to go to. Why don't you go where fashion sits?"

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Phil:  "Legend has it Santa Claus is real. And apparently faster than the speed of light."

Gerald Ford:  "Whip inflation now."

Santa Claus:  "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on Cupid! on Donner and Blitzen!"

Freud:  "Ja, Herrin."

Carl Jung:  "The word "belief" is a difficult thing for me. I don't believe. I must have a reason for a certain hypothesis. Either I know a thing, and then I know it - I don't need to believe it."

Stephen Wright: "When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.”

Bertrand Russell:  "Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines."

Phil:  "Every habit is a bad habit."

Bertram Russell:  "So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence."

Lou Costello:  "Who's on first?"

Phil:  "An apple a day keeps the Doctor away."

Hamlet:  "Get thee to a nunnery."

Hippocrates:  “A physician without a knowledge of Astrology has no right to call himself a physician."

Isaac Newton:  Force equals mass times accelleration.

Stephen Hawking: "I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was able to reason."

Blaise Pascal:  "The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing: we know this in countless ways."

Phil:  "One must be careful not to trivialize the obvious when attempting profundity for posterity."

Ben Franklin:  "Hear reason, or she'll make you feel her."

William Congreve:  "Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury than a woman scorned."

Carl Jung:  "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."

Phil:  "Love is a charitable assertion of magnanimous selfishness, synergistically speaking, especially when perpetrated with a smile. Apparently quite effective for propagating the species!  And why not?  Life is such a lovely, delicate biochemical expression of dynamic dimensional equilibrium at this magnification of the ununified field, with such an innate genetic appetite for molecular self-replication, who wouldn't think her quarks are astonishing?  Simply electric!  The universe has a personality!"

Anonymous 1:  "No it doesn't!"

Anonymous 2:  "Yes it does!"

R. Buckminster Fuller:  "Love is metaphysical gravity."

Robert Teller:  Spontaneous Combustion. 

Robert Oppenheimer:  Fusion!

Shirley Jones:  "There were birds in the sky, but I never saw them winging, no I never saw them at all, till there was you."

Timothy Leary:  "What's she on?"

Richard Avedon:  "Picture yourself in a pink submarine in the river of Spacetime."

Roy Rodgers and Dale Evans:  "Happy trails to you, until we meet again."

Albert Einstein:  "Gravitational lensing!"

Fred Astaire:  "He loves and she loves."

Eric Schmidt:  "Give me a minute."

Phil:  "Would you like that in an electron volt credit?"

Professor Donald Johansson:  "Australopithecus afarensis"

Richard Leakey:  "I, too, am convinced that our ancestors came from Africa."

Eldridge Cleaver:  "Black is Beautiful"

Topic: A Self Evident Truth

Hamlet:  "The time is out of joint: O cursed spite, That ever I was born to set it right!  Nay, come, let's go together."

Phil:  "When is Eternity not Eternity?"

Groucho: "You Bet Your Life!"

Dalai Lama:  " Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace."

Hamlet:  "Thus conscience does make cowards of us all..."

Margaret Mead:   "It is an open question whether any behavior based on fear of eternal punishment can be regarded as ethical or should be regarded as merely cowardly."

Ben Franklin:  "There was never a good war, or a bad peace."

Neil Armstrong:  "That's one small step for Man, one giant leap for Mankind."

Norm:  "Skoal!"

Martin (The Geico Gecko):  "Anthropomorphically speaking!  Right."

John Lennon:  "Imagine all the people living life in peace."

George Washington:  "My first wish is to see this plague of mankind, war, banished from the earth."

Phil:   "A MultiVerse Cinerama CinePlex is kinda like a google plex but with infinite universes instead of alot of numbers."

Ilsa:  "Play it, Sam.  Play "As Time Goes By.'"

Sam:  "It's still the same old story, a fight for love and glory.  A case of do or die.  Fundamental particles apply, spacetime goes by."

Dr Carl Sagan:  "We are made of star stuff."

Michael Jackson:  "We are the ones that make a brighter day..."

Bernie Goldberg:  "This is a big story."

Dan Rather:  "Ka Ka Ka Courage."

Geoffery O'Hara:  "K K K Katy."

Anonymous:  "More powerful than a locomotive."

Joe Biden:  "This is a big fucking deal!"

Phil:  "The Greatest Story Ever Told!"

Erique Claudin  "I can make you a star!"

Phil: "Harry Kerry Larry Wins."

Jason Robards:  "Woodstein!"

Phil:  "Did you question Mark?"

G. Gordon Liddy:  "Invest in gold."

Mickey Dolenz:  "Take the Last Train to Clarksville"

Phil:  "Roysie Boysie Tootsie Noisey"

Aretha Franklin:  "R E S P E C T"

Phil:  "Mo Jo Ho Jo Go Go"

Grace Slick:  "Go ask Alice, I think she'll know.  When logic and proportion..."

Phil:  "Glenn's Pens Bend's Ends"

Gloria Steinem:  "Logic is in the eye of the logician."

Phil:  "Courts Ports Morts Swartz"

Lois Lane:  "Clark!"

Phil:  "Phoney Tony Maloney Baloney"

Grace Slick:  "Remember what the dormouse said:  'Feed your head"

Phil:  "Food for thought?"

Annie Oakley:  "Yes I can."

Phil:  "How about eightish?"

Martin (The Geico Gecko):  "Oh dear."

Phil:  "All things considered, what's the alternative?"

Yoda:  "May the force be with you."

Phil:  "Yo Yo."

Edward R. Murrow:  "Sadly, it seems, we are entering a new era of Charlie McCarthyism."

Martin (The Geico Gecko):  "Right.  Charlie McCarthyism.  What are you saying exactly?"

Edward R Murrow:  "One has to wonder, finally, why the best ideas fail to win in our Great Debate."

Cheryl Casone:  "I want to give Congress a business education."

Phil:  "I want every American to have a business education, before they graduate High School.  And to make the Law of Supply and Demand part of the Pledge of Allegiance."

Sylvestor Stallion:  "I am a sensitive writer, actor and director. Talking business disgusts me. If you want to talk business, call my disgusting personal manager."

Phil:  "Save America?   Simple.  An awesome defense, outlaw inflation, outlaw hidden taxation, and create more doctors!  A few more generalists who can see the garden for the trees wouldn't hurt."

Joseph Stalin:  "When we hang the capitalists they will sell us the rope we use."

Phil:  "The government control of the free market?  It boggles the mind. And leads us to uncharted McMurphonomics."

Yogi Berra:  "It's deja vu all over again."

President Obama:  "People are angry at Washington now."

Howard Beale:  "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

Phil:  "The American people are familiar with Social Security and Medicare.  Where is all this anger coming from?"

Anne Coulter:  "Crony capitalism."

Martin (The Geico Gecko):  "Right.  Charlie McMurphyism."

Phil:  "Are you smarter than a post graduate?"

Bill Gates:  "So I didn't graduate, but I'm richer than all of them. Ha! And I'm doing something about agrarian science. OK?"

Carlos Slim Helu:  "Bueno."

Howard Beale:  "I don't have to tell you things are bad."

Studio Audience:   "HOW BAD IS IT?"

Johnny Carson: "Well,,, I'll tell you.  Its getting so bad in America,  if you have a high school diploma, you could be an elitist."

Mary Poppins:  "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"

Paul Harvey:  "Now you know the rest of the story."

John McLaughlin:  "Bye Bye!"

Howard Beale:   "But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!"

Walter Kronkite:  "And that's the way it is."

William Bendix:  "What a revoltin' development this is!"

Phil:  "Do you have a personal relationship with the Multiverse?"

Jon Stewart:  "Go fuck yourselves!"

Phil:  "Does anyone feel the need to go fuck themselves?"

Elmer Fudd:  "Dang wabbit!"

Bill O'Reilly:  "Don't be a popinjay!"