What is Self Evident?

Professor Donald Johansson:  "Australopithecus afarensis"

Richard Leakey:  "I, too, am convinced that our ancestors came from Africa."

Eldridge Cleaver:  "Black is Beautiful"

Professor Harold Hill:  "Ya got trouble, Right here in River city! With a capital "T" And that rhymes with "P" And that stands for Pool."

L. Hubbard:  "Criminally insane paranoid?  Would you like to see my etchings?"

Church Lady:  "Could it be.....Satan!"

Ron Howard:  "Gary, Indiana!"

Khrushchev:  "We will bury you."

Anonymous FBI agent:  "Yeah, I can understand your feeling the need to kidnap your own daughter.  It was a nasty set of divorces!  Polygamy.   Losing custody and all.  Hard to erase those memories?"

Lt Colombo:  "Oh, Just one more thing.   Why did you take her to Cuba?  KGB?  Fidel?  Casinos?  DesiLu?  George Raft?  Monroe Doctrine?  Friends of yours?"

Anonymous FBI agent:  "The locked cage in the jungle, that's not as easy to understand.  Not exactly a place to keep you daughter if you had gotten custody."

Nicholas Cage:  "Did you see 'National Treasure?'"

George Clooney:  "Gary Coleman."

Lt Colombo:  "Were you paranoid that somebody might kidnap her?"

Beach Boys:  "Off the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokomo."

Ed Koch:  "He is a crook, but I like him.... Most politicians still like De Sapio. He always gets the most applause when he is introduced at Democratic dinners."

Richard Nixon:  "Well, I'm not a crook!"

Thomas Jefferson: "The object of your mission is to explore the Missouri river; & such principal stream of it, as by its course & communication with the waters of the Pacific Ocean, may offer the most direct & practicable water communication across this continent, for the purpose of commerce."

Dr Carl Sagan:  “We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."

Phil:  "My thoughts exactly.  We are The Physics of Music, The Universal Laws of Nature, The Cosmic Consciousness of the Multiverse waking up to give itself a breast exam, galactically speaking, of course."

Neil deGrasse Tyson:  "After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"

Galileo:  “The Sun, with all the planets revolving around it, and depending on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as though it had nothing else in the Universe to do.”    

Edwin Hubble:  "I can see clearly now!"

Ben Franklin:  "The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."

Phil:  "One may wish to ascribe a greater purpose to Life." 

Sam:  "Protons must have their quarks. That no one can deny."

Charles Darwin:  "I have called this principle, by which each slight variation, if useful, is preserved, by the term of Natural Selection."

Walter Kornbluth:   "She's a fish!"

Beach Boys:  "Help me Rhonda, get her out of my heart."

Phil:  "Happiness starts with a smile."

Dalai Lama:  "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

Thomas Jefferson (with Ben Franklin editing):  “We hold these truths to be self evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”

Gloria Steinem:  "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."

Carrie Nation:  "Men are nicotine-soaked, beer-besmirched, whiskey-greased, red-eyed devils."

Teddy Roosevelt:  "Speak softly, but carry a big stick."

Al Capone:  "Speak easy, but carry a baseball bat."

Helen Reddy:  "I am woman, hear me roar."

Tony the tiger: "They're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"

Tiger Woods:  "Could you just maybe delete my name from your cell phone.  That would be huge."

Phil:  "...and ends without one."