What Is Self Evident?

Phil: Thanks for being here, Ed.  Why don't you get us started.

Edward R Murrow: "The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer."

Phil:  So, what is the likelihood, if eternity is the only possibility, that there is only one odd, statistically speaking?"

Steve Allen:  I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind."

Phil:  "Existence rules out the possibility of Non-existence. Non-existence already ruled itself out."

A. True or False

B. True

Will Rogers:  Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it."

Phil:  "Well, if I were to give you a clean sheet of paper and a pencil and asked you to represent "All Things" and "Nothing," what would you do?"

A.  Nothing

B.  Something Else. Anything. Please.

B.  What's the alternative?

Robert Prechter:  “There's nothing wrong with cash. It gives you time to think.”

Phil:  "Alright, the first rule of Real Estate:  Location, location, location!    So, The Big Bang!  Did you get the spacetime?  Well let's not forget the rest of the 5 W's.

Albert Einstein “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.”

Phil:  "Ah huh. Once I tried to count to infinity.  Then I realized that by the time I got half way I'd still have another infinity to go.  So I stopped.  I figured I didn't have enough time for this.  And there was probably something else I should be doing.  Talk about spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast!   Boy, was I glad I stopped.   Then I heard about Einstein's rocket thought experiment.  Maybe with the right technology, though, it might be possible after all.  I was further encouraged by the knowledge that infinity to the infinite power is still only infinity."

Galileo:  “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.”

Phil:  "Then I became a playboy."

Church Lady:  "Well isn't that special!"

Phil:  And by the time I was 37, I actually had my own subscription.

George Washington Carver:  "Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom." 

Phil:  "Google is to the world wide web as the Collective Consciousness of Life on Earth is to_______?"

A. Sex

B. The Universe

C. The Multiverse

D. God

E. Adam's apple

What Is Self Evident?

T. Boone Pickens:  "We’ve got all these politicians talking about better health care and what all, but believe me, we’re not going to have the money to take care of sick people.. or anyone else as far as I’m concerned.. if we don’t fix our energy problem right now. I’ve got an idea what to do. It might not be a perfect idea, but hell, none of my best ideas have been perfect."

Hypatia of Alexandria:  "Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all."

Mona Lisa: "Can you prove God exists?"

Leonardo Da Vinci:  "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

Mona Lisa:   "You know?"

Leonardo Da Vinci:  "You know!"

Mona Lisa: "I know?"

Leonardo Da Vinci: "That's right."

Mona Lisa: "How do you know?"

Leonardo Da Vinci: "That is correct."

Mona Lisa:  "Jackass."

Leonardo Da Vinci:  "Jackass?"

Mona Lisa:  "That's right!"

Leonardo Da Vinci:  "You know?"

Mona Lisa:  "I know."

Leonardo Da Vinci:  "How do you know?"

Mona Lisa:  ;)

Patsy Cline:  "I'm Crazy."

Alfred E Neuman:  "What?  Me worry?"

Mr. Ed:  "Wilbur."

Phil:  "Did you see the movie 'The Man Who Would Be King?  How about 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow?' 'The Godfather?'"

Governor David Paterson:  "Did you see 'The Boys from Brazil?'"

Joe Cocker:  "I get by with a little help from my friends."

Ringo Starr:  "So this is America. They must be out of their minds."

Kenneth Starr:  “Let me share with you a bit of the record in the case.”

John Lennon:  "He blew his mind out in a car."

Lee Harvey Oswald:  "I'm a patsy."

LBJ:  “I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket.”

Jack Ruby:  "I thought I'd be a hero."

Thomas Rudman-Brown:  "The best government is the one that charges you the least blackmail for leaving you alone.”

Glenn Beck:  "It's morning in America!"

Robin Williams:  "Good morning Viet Nam"

Paul Harvey:  "Good Day!"

Wilbur:  "Hello, Ed"

Louis Armstrong:  "Hello Dolly."

Martin Short:  "The callalillies are in bloom today."

George Segal:  "What's going on?"

Yogi Berra:  "It's deja vu all over again."

Marvin Gaye:  "What going on?"

Joe Dirt: "Yeah, I'm cool."

Phil:  "Is the source of all religious fanaticism the false assumption that 'nothing' is a noun?" Or does the trouble lie with the human trait that would attempt to exploit the lemmings' true quest for life?"

Lou Costello:  "What are you asking me for?"

Robin Goodfellow:  "If we shadows have offended think but this and...."

Abu: "I am Abu the thief. Son of Abu the thief. Grandson of Abu the thief."

Howard Hughes:  "Now regarding the Japanese Zero... The Japanese Zero was a shock..... "

Hamlet:  "To be, or not to be.  That is the question."

Erique Claudin:  "I'm famous..... just not too many people know it"

Hamlet:  "And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.  There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

Ronald Reagan:  "Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

Irving Berlin:  "The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl."

Phil:  "I've been rich and I've been poor,  Ritz is better, Puttin'."

Harpo:  "     "                                                                                                        

Hamlet:  "The time is out of joint: O cursed spite, That ever I was born to set it right!  Nay, come, let's go together."

Phil:  "When is Eternity not Eternity?"

Groucho: "You Bet Your Life!"

Dalai Lama:  " Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace."

Hamlet:  "Thus conscience does make cowards of us all..."

Margaret Mead:   "It is an open question whether any behavior based on fear of eternal punishment can be regarded as ethical or should be regarded as merely cowardly."

Ben Franklin:  "There was never a good war, or a bad peace."

Topic: What is Self Evident?

Phil:  "The fossilized remains of dragons prove their existence, by George!  And to think the ancient Sumerians only mythologized them."

Joseph Campbell:  "A one sentence definition of mythology? "Mythology" is what we call someone else's religion."

Phil:  "Tragically Hip? I'm updated traditional myself, but that's another story."

Fred Flintstone:  "Yabba dabba doo!"

Jerry Ruben:  "I invented the term Young Urban Professional, Yuppie."

Jerry Falwell:  “AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."

Bob Orbin: "Are you gay?"(TTW)

Elvis:  "Elvis the Pelvis? You ain't never caught a rabbit, you ain't no friend of mine."

Phil:  "We're going to need a population explosion to spread the debt around."

JFK:  "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

FDR:  "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."

Mr. President:  "Can you spare a dime, Bro?"

President Barack Obama:  "That is the true genius of America, a faith in the simple dreams of its people, the insistence on small miracles. That we can say what we think, write what we think, without hearing a sudden knock on the door. That we can have an idea and start our own business without paying a bribe or hearing a sudden knock on the door. That we can participate in the political process without fear of retribution, and that our votes will be counted-or at least, most of the time."

Phil:  "Education, applied science, innovation and entrepreneurship generates real wealth for the people of our nation.  Wall Street spreads the wealth around, thank you."

Will Rogers:  "Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."

Phil:  "Bureaucrats are the kind of people who get in your way and then ask 'How may I help?'  And finally, object to your suggestions and congratulate themselves for a job well done!"

Thomas Jefferson: “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”

Phil:  If Warren Buffet were a socialist, he would have given all his money to the government, and let the government save AIG.

DDE:  Here in America we are descended in blood and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels -- men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine. As their heirs, we may never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion.

HST:  "The buck stops here."

Bill O' Reilly:  "The spin stops here."

Anonymous:  "Hip Hip Hurrah!"

Irving Berlin:  "Yip Yip Yaphank!"

Anonymous:  "Hip Hip Hypnotism!"

Henry Fonda:  "G A F!"

Sam:  "Cheers!"

Cliff:  "Salud!"

H. Cohen:  "You little cocksucker.  Are you ready?"(TTW stomping on floor above)

S. Portelli: "No." No."(TTW stomping on floor above)

KoKo the gorilla: "My cat good."

A-RAB: Where you gonna find Bernardo?

Jeff Goldbaum: "Be afraid, be very afraid."

Bernardo:  "I have seen nothing."

Elton John:  "BBBennie and the jets."

Abigail Adams:  “I've always felt that a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting points of view he can entertain simultaneously on the same topic.”

Phil:  "I refuse to be labeled an atheist, agnostic or true believer, for these appellatives offend my intelligence and deep appreciation of the logic of mathematics, the accumulated body of knowledge derived by scientific exploration, and the universe as we know it today.  For lack of a better word, I am an existentialist, epistemologically speaking. All things considered, what's the alternative? Oxymorons?  What part of know don't you get?"

Arthur C.  Clarke:  "I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical."

Phil:  "I know all things exist and that is always true. Beyond that I can only believe."

Groucho:  "Hello I must be going."

Phil:  "I know I am!  What do you think?"

Rene Descartes:  "I think therefore I am."

B. Leach: "What are you thinking?  Don't even think it!"

(TTW)

Irving Berlin:  "Now, if you're blue, And you don't know where to go to. Why don't you go where fashion sits?"

.

Phil:  "Legend has it Santa Claus is real. And apparently faster than the speed of light."

Gerald Ford:  "Whip inflation now."

Santa Claus:  "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on Cupid! on Donner and Blitzen!"

Freud:  "Ja, Herrin."

Carl Jung:  "The word "belief" is a difficult thing for me. I don't believe. I must have a reason for a certain hypothesis. Either I know a thing, and then I know it - I don't need to believe it."

Stephen Wright: "When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.”

Bertrand Russell:  "Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines."

Phil:  "Every habit is a bad habit."

Bertram Russell:  "So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence."

Lou Costello:  "Who's on first?"

Phil:  "An apple a day keeps the Doctor away."

Hamlet:  "Get thee to a nunnery."

Hippocrates:  “A physician without a knowledge of Astrology has no right to call himself a physician."

Isaac Newton:  Force equals mass times acceleration.

Stephen Hawking: "I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was able to reason."

Blaise Pascal:  "The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing: we know this in countless ways."

Phil:  "One must be careful not to trivialize the obvious when attempting profundity for posterity."

Ben Franklin:  "Hear reason, or she'll make you feel her."

William Congreve:  "Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury than a woman scorned."

Carl Jung:  "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."

Phil:  "Love is a charitable assertion of magnanimous selfishness, synergistically speaking, especially when perpetrated with a smile. Apparently quite effective for propagating the species!  And why not?  Life is such a lovely, delicate biochemical expression of dynamic dimensional equilibrium at this magnification of the ununified field, with such an innate genetic appetite for molecular self-replication, who wouldn't think her quarks are astonishing?  Simply electric!  The universe has a personality!"

Anonymous 1:  "No it doesn't!"

Anonymous 2:  "Yes it does!"

R. Buckminster Fuller:  "Love is metaphysical gravity."

Robert Teller:  Spontaneous Combustion. 

Robert Oppenheimer:  Fusion!

Shirley Jones:  "There were birds in the sky, but I never saw them winging, no I never saw them at all, till there was you."

Timothy Leary:  "What's she on?"

Richard Avedon:  "Picture yourself in a pink submarine in the river of Spacetime."

Roy Rodgers and Dale Evans:  "Happy trails to you, until we meet again."

Albert Einstein:  "Gravitational lensing!"

Fred Astaire:  "He loves and she loves."

Eric Schmidt:  "Give me a minute."

Phil:  "Would you like that in an electron volt credit?"

Topic: What Is Self Evident?

Phil: Thanks for being here, Ed.  Why don't you get us started.

Edward R Murrow: "The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer."

Phil:  So, what is the likelihood, if eternity is the only possibility, that there is only one odd, statistically speaking?"

Steve Allen:  I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind."

Phil:  "Existence rules out the possibility of Non-existence. Non-existence already ruled itself out."

A. True or False

B. True

Will Rogers:  Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it."

Phil:  "Well, if I were to give you a clean sheet of paper and a pencil and asked you to represent "All Things" and "Nothing," what would you do?"

A.  Nothing

B.  Something Else. Anything. Please.

B.  What's the alternative?

Robert Prechter:  “There's nothing wrong with cash. It gives you time to think.”

Phil:  "Alright, the first rule of Real Estate:  Location, location, location!    So, The Big Bang!  Did you get the spacetime?  Well let's not forget the rest of the 5 W's.

Albert Einstein “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.”

Phil:  "Ah huh. Once I tried to count to infinity.  Then I realized that by the time I got half way I'd still have another infinity to go.  So I stopped.  I figured I didn't have enough time for this.  And there was probably something else I should be doing.  Talk about spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast!   Boy, was I glad I stopped.   Then I heard about Einstein's rocket thought experiment.  Maybe with the right technology, though, it might be possible after all.  I was further encouraged by the knowledge that infinity to the infinite power is still only infinity."

Galileo:  “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.”

Phil:  "Then I became a playboy."

Church Lady:  "Well isn't that special!"

Phil:  And by the time I was 37, I actually had my own subscription.

George Washington Carver:  "Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom." 

Phil:  "Google is to the world wide web as the Collective Consciousness of Life on Earth is to_______?"

A. Sex

B. The Universe

C. The Multiverse

D. God

E. Adam's apple